Ringing In a New Decade
New Years has changed so much for me these past few years. Typically it is a time for celebration, counting down the minutes to 12 o’clock in some crowded bar with all of my friends, drinks in hand. It eventually morphed into a nice dinner with a few select people - which to be honest were some of my favorite New Years so far.
Now that we have a 19 month old, New Years is a different experience. Ryker goes to bed at 730, and usually no one is up for babysitting as the year changes and we say goodbye to all the moments and experiences the previous year has left us. So now we are celebrating New Years in a new way - with family, in our pajamas.
10 of us are headed to my Moms to get comfy, tossing aside the glitter and sequin, to eat, drink, and play games. This works out great for us because we can put Ryker to bed and we can party all night long knowing he is right upstairs. (Truth be told, I’ll be lucky if I make it to 12. Mama is tired!).
So as we gather to celebrate all 2019 had to offer us, I am reflecting on my top 5 of the year. My top 5 are moments, resolutions, lessons learned... I hate to limit my list to one area.
Try to enjoy the moments we have together and let go of the small things. One of my biggest challenges this past year is time spent apart from my husband. He travels quite a bit for work, which leaves me home alone with Ryker and our german Shepherd Kiya... a lot. There are waves of extreme frustration, to moments of total independence, feelings of longing, and feelings of resentment. When he comes home it is hard to tuck all of those emotions away and relish in the fact that I have my husband back. A goal of mine for 2020 is to be grateful for the time we do have together and to be present with our time. Our time together is limited and precious and I need to make the most of what we are given.
Some of my favorite moments of 2019 are watching Ryker and Ava’s relationship grow. To say they are obsessed with each other is an under statement. When Ava is around, this Mama gets very little attention from her baby. But I’m ok with it. I am so blessed that these two have the special bond that they do. Ava is so protective of her little brother. She is always watching out for him and wanting to take him under her wing. “Come on Bubs, lets go!” she says to him as he willingly runs after her. “Aves... Aves!” I hear him call to her. Only to say “hi” when he gets her attention. It is so heart warming, and all I can say is that they are so lucky to have each other. I hope that this relationship continues to grow stronger as time goes on. Sibling love is something so special and to watch it take place has been some of the biggest highlights of 2019.
Don’t yell so much, and be constructive in a loving manner. It takes a lot for me to get angry, and to really raise my voice. But sometimes you don’t know what else to do but scream and yell back. This year Ryker has been “experimenting” with his voice. Screaming at the table has been one of his favorite activities. We have tried saying “NO” very sternly, we have given him the stare down, I have hit the table and gotten in his face. I have yelled just as loud as him- which in turn only creates more yelling. But the best solution I have found so far is a simple shh shh shh. A sweet and loving voice, and a shh shh shh to show that this is quiet time seems to have a greater effect than any other. Don’t get louder, get wiser. Don’t get louder, be more loving and more direct in a caring way.
Travel the world as much as you can. Do it with your kids, and do it without them. In February we traveled to Iceland as part of our annual Christmas present to each other : a trip without kids. I have to admit I hate the cold, but it was a bucket list experience. We saw the northern lights, the blue lagoon, and glaciers. I felt like I was in a National Geographic magazine. We also traveled to the Bahamas sans kids, and to myrtle beach with the kids. If you don’t already know, we have a love for travel. I was always worried once we had kids that our passion would take a back seat. But we have made a solid effort to make sure we still do what we love. Bringing Ryker on the plane for the first time was an adventure in itself. I cannot wait to explore the world with him as he grows.
It’s all about family. Take it from me, families can have a lot of drama. There can be fallouts, feuds, distance, competitions... but try not to let that get in the way. We all have our stories, we all have our baggage. No one is perfect, and at the end of the day all we have are each other. Let your family be your support system and make sure to prioritize them. Our moments are fleeting, our time is limited. Make the most of each moment. Hug each other a little tighter everyday. Say I love you one extra time. Give your kids one more kiss. Say yes to that dinner at your in laws. Keep nurturing that family bond.
I hope that 2019 was good to you, but I hope 2020 is even better. I hope that this year goals are met, and dreams come true. I hope that you smile so much that your mouth starts to hurt and laugh so often your abs get sore. I hope I’m 2020 you challenge yourself and others to do and be better, and most of all spread as much love and kindness as possible.
Cheers!
<3
P.S.
What are you New Year’s Traditions?? Comment Below!